This week I’ve been thinking a lot about FEAR. Mostly because I keep receiving invitations to give speeches. And despite my drawer full of Toastmasters ribbons, public speaking still freaks me out a little bit (as does the possibility of Snooki becoming a parent, but we’ll save that topic for another post).
So I got to thinking about this fear of public speaking. And what I realized is that I’m not afraid of public speaking at all. Nope, I’m afraid of the FEELINGS that may arise as a result of the public speaking. Which is an entirely different thing altogether.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that virtually ALL of our fears are just fears of certain FEELINGS. Here are some examples:
Fear of Public Speaking = Fear of feeling rejected
Fear of Intimacy = Fear of feeling vulnerable
Fear of Abandonment = Fear of feeling lonely
Fear of Socializing = Fear of feeling judged
Interesting, isn’t it?
And so getting in touch with the feelings we’re most afraid of, is step one of busting fear. Only then can we begin to generate new feelings to take their place.
Generating new feelings is easier than you think. All you have to do is become more conscious of your thought processes and begin to re-direct them. For example, if you’re afraid of failure, begin to visualize and affirm something that makes you FEEL successful. Create new pictures in your head. It won’t be long before you have brand new feelings that are a result of your new way of thinking.
I personally am visualizing myself receiving standing ovations. I’m amazed at how much more EXCITED I feel about public speaking after 2 minutes of this visualization.
Most people are big on TAKING ACTION to dissolve fear, and I don’t discount that taking action is an important part of the equation. I just think that taking action should come AFTER you’ve begun to re-program your feelings. Otherwise it’s like trying to annihilate a dandelion by plucking off a petal. You gotta pull it out the ROOTS, my friend.
In order to bust some of my own fears, I created a special worksheet. And I’m overjoyed to share it with you, so you can become a fear-buster too. It’s completely free and you can download it by clicking the link below:
I’d love to hear if the worksheet helped you become more aware of what you’re really afraid of. Please feel free to leave a comment letting me know what FEELINGS you’ve uncovered and how you’re taking action to bust ‘em.
With love & gratitude!